#feeling unworthy

[liesmultixxx]

i’m a lot of things

but one thing i’ll never be is enough

[fitforestfairy]

Feeling unworthy and self sabotage while trying to achieve fitness goals

Do you ever feel like you don’t deserve to succeed in your fitness goals?

Like it’s just a “vanity” thing or simply you don’t deserve good things or to feel good about yourself. Maybe you spent so long feeling bad about yourself that is all you know and you think there’s no point in changing or you feel it’s impossible to change.

And as soon you start to see progress you unconsciously (or sometimes more consciously) sabotage your progress. It could all be due to an underlying feeling of unworthiness, apart from different mental health conditions that may be going on. In my case, my BPD plays a huge role in the perception I have of myself and my black and white thinking can lead to feeling like a failure if I don’t do things perfectly. Depression and anxiety are big issues for me, and body dysmorphia as well.

I think it’s one of those mental aspects of fitness and weight loss that can lead to self sabotage and it’s nowhere nearly talked about enough.

This is a gentle reminder that no matter how you’ve felt your whole life or the whole past week or day, you deserve good things. You deserve happiness and success. You deserve to be healthy and to feel good in your own skin. And you deserve to be at peace with yourself and take care of your mental health as well.

[helluvaoutlaw]

The Burden

Striker’s fists collided with the punching bag, each blow more punishing than the last.

His muscles burned, every sinew pulled tight like a live wire.

He wasn’t training now—he was venting, trying to drive every bitter thought out of his head by tearing his own knuckles open.

The bag swung wildly with his assault, leather peeling, dust floating off from where his hands struck. Blood smeared across the dark surface, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop, even as the pain began to blur into something sharper, something cathartic.

He remembered Vine’s words, each one cutting like a blade.

"Immortality exchanged…for you."

Her voice rang in his mind, that cruel, elegant tone.

The memory of her smug, amused look clawed at him, the way she’d spoken of Coronis’s choice as though it were trivial. Like Coronis’s love, her sacrifice, was all part of some grand game. But it wasn’t a game to him—not even close.

“She’d give up everything.” he murmured under his breath, landing another blow on the bag that made it swing back violently.

Everything.

The thought felt like a weight crushing his chest. She would give up the eternal life of her kind, with all its power and privilege, to live a mortal life beside him.

A life full of small moments, hardships, and the knowledge that one day, it would end. The finality of it made him choke up, and he released a strangled, furious shout as he punched again and again.

"RRRAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

The bag shuddered under his hands, but the storm inside him only grew stronger.

She was choosing him, a mortal, an imp—someone so small, so easily lost in time’s endless tide.

Why?

Why the hell would she throw away everything she had, everything she was meant to be, for him?

The questions gnawed at him, relentless, and the truth was, he had no answers.

He could almost see her soft, patient smile, hear the gentle conviction in her voice.

"You’re worth it to me, Striker. No one else matters."

Her words, ones she'd spoken to him countless times before, flooded his mind, and with them came a heavy, aching sorrow.

Cori deserved more, better—someone who wasn’t stained with blood and vengeance, someone whose hands weren’t scarred from years of wielding a gun against her kind.

How could he ever live up to that?

He, the very thing her world despised, an assassin without a place or purpose beyond survival.

"GODDAMMIT!!!"

The thought drove him to lash out with a final, desperate strike, so forceful that the bag’s chain groaned under the impact.

He sagged against it, breathless, the weight of it all finally overwhelming him.

He hadn’t felt tears in years, hadn’t let himself feel anything so vulnerable, but now, he felt them building.

He buried his face against the bloodied leather, breathing raggedly.

“...what if I ain’t worth it, Cori?”

He muttered, voice cracking with unspent sorrow.

The pressure of it all, of her faith, her devotion, and the quiet, unshakable love she held for him, felt like too much.

She was willing to give up a future without end just to spend a handful of years with him. And here he was, a broken, bitter fool, doubting if he was even good enough to stand by her side.

The fear, the doubt—they rose like bile. She believed in him in a way no one else had. She saw past his violence, his anger, and everything dark and unredeemable in him, and somehow, she loved him anyway.

He didn’t know if he could bear it.

---

[muddlemore]

shout out to the club penguin journey crew for still managing to give us a halloween party so shortly after the fair holy shit

[buggachat]

something so fucked up about Chat Noir’s whole deal is that he is in a lot of ways Adrien playing a character. Like Adrien picked up his miraculous and was told he’d be a superhero so he was like “ok, time to act like a superhero!” and he lets himself have fun w it and play up the role and let loose and kind of just allow himself to be silly and goofy and have fun and for once in his life not care about performing Perfection™.

But. But none of the other characters KNOW THAT. So everyone just sees Chat Noir and is like “look at this guy’s ego. He’s so full of himself. Surely it’d be fair to knock him down a few pegs” without being aware of how few pegs he actually HAS. He’s like the “insecure character who overcompensates in ego” trope except he’s really not doing it unironically, he’s just having a fun LARP pretending to have self worth in his off-hours but nobody else is on the same page about it being a game and he refuses to tell them. He just dramatically pouts about it and lets them laugh and pretends like he’s not internalizing it and it is almost 3 am and my brain forced me to write this instead of sleeping I’m gonna take a melatonin

[dozydawn]

“A Palestinian girl stands holding stones in her hands waiting in Ramallah in the West Bank for Israeli soldiers to arrive to the place where a young Palestinian was shot dead the same day. 20 February 1988.”

Photographed by Eric Feferberg.

[transsophiedevereaux]

been rewatching s1 of leverage and it really hammers home how down bad hardison has been from the start. and it's not even the stupid flirting and telling parker she looks good in the bridesmaid dress.

when the team first gets together they don't really get parker. eliot calls her crazy about twice per episode, sophie clearly feels bad for her, and nate barely cares for anyone at this point. hardison, by contrast, always engages with her, answers her questions, listens to her concerns about the orphanages in the stork job, explains to her that they're a little more than a team, cheekily adresses her, while in character for the juror #6 job, just to make her smile. yes we all remember how parker stabbed the guy from the stork job with a fork, but also remember that, just moments before, while talking stone-faced to this guy she clearly loathes hardison managed to make her laugh with only a stupid vampire joke mocking the mark's accent. she thinks he's funny! they're in love your honour!!

[liesmultixxx]

i hate it when something good happens to me and initially i’m happy about it

but then after a while, doubts creep up on me and i feel like i don’t deserve to be happy

[cerealforkart]

Can’t believe I haven’t seen anyone else do this with them gotta do everything myself

[oxfordsxbrogues]

“Wait no not like that.”

OR: Results? To MY own self-sabotage? More likely than you’d think!

OR: I don’t CARE that the prophecy was self-fulfilling, I’m still angry about it! 😤

OR: Blitzø sweetie pie please go to therapy I know this great lady with a hotel where you do trust falls and talk about your feelings she’s like a block away from your office just pop in for thirty seconds please I’m begging you 🥺

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

A reminder that Spinner canonically compares himself to Dabi and feels inferior to the rest of the League of Villains.

Part of the reason he allowed AFO to manipulate him is because he wanted to be reliable, as in he wanted to be stronger to be of use to Tomura. So again, he's canonically kinda jealous not only of Dabi's quirk, but of him as a person.

[one-of-tankhuns-neurons]

Joke's kink is the opposite of roleplay. It's more of a "can you love me for who I am and fuck me in my own skin?" And Jack will. Eventually.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[macksartblock]

anyway i'm still drawing him with a mullet it's important to me

[nite-puff]

this was what their dr:s interaction was originally gonna be. trust me. i’m mr. danganronpa

(no cuz seriously. how are you gonna have them interact and then forget that hiroko canonically has a bit of a thing for takaaki?) (i say this like the dr:s writers even knew who the other captives were)

[furiousgoldfish]

I didn't see this right away, but my parents refusing to teach me anything really got to me, and not only in the way of lacking survival skills. I was being told things like 'how old are you not to know this' and 'you should know this by now' constantly, but nobody ever took the time or patience to explain or demonstrate to me how anything works. I had school education, so I was able to absorb information, but that was still, me being one of the 20+ children sitting down, with one adult who spent more time trying to keep us disciplined and quiet, than managing to explain anything. If I didn't get anything, I was too afraid to ask. I was being told I was stupid on a daily basis anyway.

My parents insisted that I was too stupid to get anything, too clumsy and ignorant and incapable, so it wasn't worth trying to teach me anything, it was a waste of energy. I was supposed to absorb knowledge by looking at what they're doing, but they would often give me other tasks to do, I wasn't free to observe. I believed that I was specifically dumb and incapable, and this was the only reason why I didn't have any skills. I actually believed that I was clumsy, stupid, incapable of doing anything correctly. I didn't think I was worth teaching, worth mentoring.

There was one time I was in my friend's house, and there was a guitar. I touched it, fascinated, since I've never had the chance to touch one before. My friend's father saw my interest, and offered to show me how to play. I was flabbergasted. He showed me how to hold it, how to press my fingers on the strings to create different chords, how to make sound happen. It took maybe 20 minutes. But it was the first time an adult showed me how something worked, and I felt.. unworthy. I didn't understand how could I deserve so much of someone's time and patience, because it had never happened before. I couldn't retain the knowledge, because that was the last time I ever touched a guitar, I never got the chance again. I still feel indebted for that 20 minutes, it feels like too much spent on me.

I thought back to those moments a lot, thinking about how special I felt for an adult to believe that I was worth teaching. If someone gave me a guitar now, I'd be ecstatic to try and learn it, because I remember that someone thought I could, someone showed me how. All of the other skills, I had to learn while already thinking I would fail, that I couldn't do it, and had to deal with extensive negative mindset before even trying to start. There is no skill that one can do perfectly on the first time, we all start by being awful, and then slowly get better with practice. But, with the 'I fail at everything and even if I try it will go bad' mindset, the awful start feels like a confirmation that we cannot do this, that we're too incapable, or stupid, or lacking in talent. Since all my work was heavily criticized no matter how well I've done, I had to go back and figure out what things I actually do okay, and criticism was unwarranted, and where I've actually been lacking in knowledge. And that is a complicated thing to do, when all of the criticism feels so painful, and even trying to do something makes you hear the words of ridicule, degradation and berating in your head. It makes you want to go the route of perfectionism, to try and do things so well they would be above criticism in general, but that's impossible. Criticism we receive in abuse is not actual criticism, it's often directed at us only to hurt our feelings, to discourage us, mock us, make us feel inadequate, sometimes even out of jealousy or because our capabilities present a threat, so they need to run that down. But how would we know? If all feedback is negative, it's impossible for us to sort trough what is a confirmation of being awful, and what is a jealous remark created to sabotage our good work.

Sometimes it feels bad learning everything on my own. Finding online tutorials and youtube videos for every skill imaginable, sifting trough forums to find information on finances and economy, trying to put together how society works by analyzing how people live and not daring to ask them to explain how they got where they are now. I had no guidance, and sometimes things would be too complicated, and I would give up. I often wish I could ask someone to explain it to me, instead of typing questions into google. The information is stored differently when it comes from a human, it creates warmth and the knowledge that someone cared enough to explain it to me, that I didn't have to put it together from various sources myself.

Learning basic survival and life skills was unnecessarily painful for me. I still have things I cannot do, just because of how much pain is associated with them. But to think everything could have been as simple as that guitar! If every time I showed interest in something, an adult who knew how it worked sat down next to me, demonstrated it, gave it to me to hold, put my hands in the right places, and directed me to what I should do. Would I ever have trouble believing in myself? It wouldn't have crossed my mind that there's anything I can't do. Or that I would fundamentally be bad at anything, just because I'm bad at it on the first attempt. When you're a kid, you don't even know if you're doing good or bad, if your first attempt gets a 'good job!', you're incentivized to do it again, until you do get good at it. That's why we encourage children, not to lie to them, but because we know how painful it is to be told off on your first try, and that it will make the second try unlikely.

Today I understand that all skills are gained trough practice, and that I can pick and choose what skills I want, and I can get them with enough practice. I can and do give up on some that are too frustrating, and that's okay too, we are all more inclined towards some activities, while others feel bad even with improvement.

As a kid I was enveloped by fear of not being able to do anything, not being useful enough to be kept alive, never being good at anything, not finding any kind of place in the world, just because I can't do anything right. All of that fear was necessary, there's tons of stuff that anyone can do, with some more complicated stuff that one needs to be specialized in, but it's not necessary for survival, or even for earning a place in society. We all have a place, by birthright, and just having skills is not as important as with what purpose you're using them for. You can be extremely skilled and using those skills to exploit, destroy and do damage to society, or even to isolate some members of society who you can then hurt. Or you can have very few skills but be insistent on using what you do only to help those around you be safe and sound.

[abby086]

Is it a punishment, that makes me unworthy of love?